{"id":30,"date":"2015-04-16T17:18:35","date_gmt":"2015-04-16T17:18:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.christiansdontbite.com\/?p=30"},"modified":"2015-04-16T17:18:35","modified_gmt":"2015-04-16T17:18:35","slug":"childless-by-choice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/christiansdontbite.com\/?p=30","title":{"rendered":"Childless by Choice"},"content":{"rendered":"
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You see this phrase more and more these days.\u00a0 There are websites called “childfree by choice”, or “Childless and loving it”.\u00a0 The reasons are varied.\u00a0 Some think the world is already over-populated and don’t want to add to it.\u00a0 Some people don’t want their lives disrupted.\u00a0 There are many other reasons I won’t go into.\u00a0 I have been thinking about this lately.\u00a0 My husband and I are childless.\u00a0 The phrase itself denotes a life that is less than complete.\u00a0 Child-less.\u00a0 I can see why people who don’t have children for reasons other than most might find societal pressures frustrating.\u00a0\u00a0 This is no more evident than in the Church.\u00a0 Couples that don’t have children, though they are accepted into the fold, are somehow set aside as different.\u00a0 This would also include adult singles, to a degree.\u00a0 Let me say at the outset, we have never been treated differently at our church because of our lack of children.\u00a0 But this hasn’t always been the case.<\/p>\n

Why am I bringing this up now?\u00a0 With my mother’s death, you begin to think about your own mortality.\u00a0 I have no children to look after me when I am old and sick.\u00a0 I won’t have someone to look after my affairs when I become infirm.\u00a0 Not a reason to have children on its own, but makes you think.\u00a0 \u00a0 So I began to look at the our choices in this area a little more closely.\u00a0 My husband and I never made a conscious decision NOT to have children.\u00a0 It was something we discussed at length several times, but could never decide when the time was right.\u00a0\u00a0I also don’t think we are able to have\u00a0children, but that is for another discussion.\u00a0\u00a0But that aside, now its more than likely too late.<\/p>\n

I will state plainly that I\u00a0never\u00a0yearned for\u00a0children like some women.\u00a0 I didn’t even play with baby dolls as a kid.\u00a0 I liked Barbie and Hot Wheels.\u00a0 I enjoyed playing war with my male cousins and “Dallas” and “Dukes of\u00a0Hazzard” with my female cousins.\u00a0 I wasn’t what you call, maternal.\u00a0\u00a0My mom always said that I had it in me, the way I took care of her foundling kitten and other animals.\u00a0 But\u00a0even she agreed, it wasn’t in my DNA.<\/p>\n

So as I drove to work this morning, I was listening to Moody Radio and there was a lady on there\u00a0talking and she sounded just like me.\u00a0 The difference was, she had children, and was still\u00a0not acting very maternal.\u00a0 She said God changed her desires when\u00a0she started acting more like a mother.\u00a0 It made me think, if I had acted more maternal growing up, would I have wanted children more?\u00a0 Would I have tried when my husband and I were younger and probably more able to conceive?\u00a0\u00a0 But then I thought, what if I had children and I realized it was a mistake?\u00a0 You can’t take\u00a0a child back to the pet store.\u00a0 Its a life time commitment.\u00a0\u00a0When I was\u00a0younger, I know it was selfishness, but when I grew older, there were other concerns.\u00a0 Genetic disease is a real factor in my family, societal concerns, etc.\u00a0 \u00a0 God knows best and I\u00a0feel now that if I had been meant to be a mother, God would have made that happen.\u00a0 Who knows, he still could.\u00a0 Look at Abraham and Sarah.\u00a0\u00a0Yikes!
\nWow, what a thought.\u00a0 Please God, don’t give me a child when I’m 100!<\/p>\n

But something to think about.\u00a0 Don’t pre-judge someone who doesn’t have children or is single.\u00a0 Don’t assume they are driven career people who just didn’t want the hassle.\u00a0 Don’t assume things about anyone.
\nOne more thing.\u00a0 Don’t assume its ok to ask people about it either.\u00a0 Sometimes people are happy tell you.\u00a0 But sometimes, its a sore subject.<\/p>\n

Food for thought.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You see this phrase more and more these days.\u00a0 There are websites called “childfree by choice”, or “Childless and loving it”.\u00a0 The reasons are varied.\u00a0 Some think the world is already over-populated and don’t want to add to it.\u00a0 Some people don’t want their lives disrupted.\u00a0 There are many other reasons I won’t go into.\u00a0 … <\/p>\n

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